With the NCAA Tournament bracket set, it?s time to begin filling out your predictions. Whether you?re doing it for fun or some serious cash (don?t worry we won?t tell anyone), it?s important that you consult a bracketologist or two before penciling in your picks. On Sunday night I caught up with an old high school friend Mark Rowan, the current editor of The Recorder, the newspaper of Central Connecticut State University (who has a first round match-up with Greg Oden and the Ohio State Buckeyes). We?ll play the role of your bracketologists.
Andrew: Hey Mark, are you excited for this weeks impending madness?
Mark: How could one not be? This is what people live for. Did you know suicide rates in early March are the lowest of the year?
AP: Really, what about the end of March? I'd imagine there'd be an increase...at least in the mid-major category.
MR: Indeed, Andrew. But...as they say this time of year, you win some, you lose some.
AP: I think of the mid-Majors as those girls in school who were borderline hot. Like you had interest, but you were worried what your friends would say.
MR: I totally agree, but I see myself as a risk taker when it comes to my women and my brackets, you see. And sometimes if you go for the gamble it pays off big time.
AP: This is true...I mean George Mason is quite comparable to a girl I remember from high school... she didn't excite me until it was too late.
MR: Exactly, everyone is looking for a George Mason this year. Whether it's in their bracket or their local bar.
AP: Who's your bracket buster?
MR: Hmm... you know I see a few double-digit teams that can make it deep into this tournament. I'm looking in Davidson's direction when I think of the next George Mason. If you look ahead and see a possible sweet 16 matchup with Florida, a team that has blown it big this season against lower opponents, it isn't looking all that unlikely for Davidson to bust a few brackets.
AP: In terms of a buster, I like a few teams. I like George Washington, because they look to have a little George Mason in them, or at least half a name. I like Arkansas because USC is without Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush this season. I also like Central Connecticut. I mean, they're newspaper editor is a genius and Greg Oden has to have his eyes on a Celtic jersey...
MR: I really think this is going to be the year of the George, even more so than the last tournament. George Mason sparked a trend last season and I believe we?ll see other teams riding that wave. As you said, George Washington. Georgetown. Georgia Tech. I smell something in the air.
AP: Georgetown might even have a shot at winning the whole thing. They have the son of their former coach, and even a sweaty Ewing. Oh and that big Hibbert guy.
MR: Who do you think sweats more? Big Ewing or Little Ewing?
AP: Pfff, wow. I'm going to say little Ewing because he has big shoes to fill and a lot of puddles to create. Some of his nervousness has to be creating extra perspiration.
MR: I am going to agree with you on that one. Little Ewing, both his sweat and his team have a great shot at making it into the finals.
AP: Which region do you feel will be the toughest to advance through?
MR: I am going to have to say the West, for sure. Kansas and UCLA are top notch teams. You have a team like Gonzaga at a 10 who is always in the mix. Duke has history and Holy Cross has Jesus. It's going to be tough to beat a team with Jesus on their side. What do you think?
AP: Jesus is a tough drop, plus Holy Cross is located in Massachusetts and we all know the basketball is played at a high level there.
MR: Wait, you aren't reffering to the Celtics are you?
AP: No, not at all. I was talking about UMass. Boston has the NBA title in their hands...it's theirs to lose? As far as regions go, I think the East is going to be the toughest. First off all, it's being played in New Jersey (that's hard enough)...then you consider teams like Belmont and Oral Roberts and you've got yourself a dogfight.
MR: You know what they say about Jersey. ?The only thing worst than playing there, is living there.? Ask the Nets.
AP: Exactly, all of those industrial factories make the entire state smell like a locker room full of Ewings. Have you driven on the turnpike recently?
MR: No, but I flew over Jersey today and I have to say the view through the clouds was
enough for me.
AP: Can Gonzaga make a run without Adam Morrison?
MR: I don't think it was Morrison as much as it was the moustache. I mean, you're telling me none of those guys could grow one?
AP: This is true...I mean look what his facial hair has done for the Bobcats.
MR: That moustache has been the best thing to come to that city since Muggsy Bogues.
AP: That and a cross-dressing forward named Larry Johnson.
MR: Speaking of Larry Johnson, how do you feel about UNLV's chances against a solid team like Georgia Tech?
AP: I like their chances. They?ll be fine as long as they don't gamble the game away, because GT has the ability and talent to sting them. Wisconsin will be a tough second round match-up, with the cheese and all.
AP: You mentioned UCLA as a top-notch team, who do you think is the greatest Bruin of all-time?
MR: You know, I am a huge fan of Sergei Samsonov, but I have to say the greatest Bruin of all-time has to be Kareem, or rather Lew. I know, I know. You wanted me to say Reggie, but let's be real?
AP: Haha, you know me too well. What about Jason Kapono? I mean did Kareem or Bill Walton ever take home the 3-point shootout title?
MR: Kapano? The kid is good, but it looks like Eddie Jones has resumed the role of 3-point shooter since Kapano has been out. We may have a fight for the arch when he returns, and I am not talking about Shaq and McDonalds.
AP: Hey, Shaq has slimmed down! He's almost Barkley-size now. And how old is Eddie Jones, 48? He sure looks it.
AP: Okay, we've talked women, sleepers, busters and facial hair, but how do you tackle your bracket(s)? What are your strategies?
MR: I set up my brackets using a little feng-shui. For example, it is obvious that the nation wants to see George Washington face Washington State in the 2nd round, so I give the people what they want. Also, Oregon makes it to the Final Four because I visited their gift shop in Portland yesterday.
AP: Did you see any Ducks?
MR: I didn't. No ducks at all. Oddly enough I did catch the flight of some geese though. Maybe Oregon is gone first round. I need a magic 8-ball.
AP: Oregon has a pretty easy road. I mean Miami(OH), what is that? I know Roethlisberger went there, but come on...that's like saying you go to Boston College, but it's in Kentucky. I usually let my true emotions decide who I pick to advance. Notre Dame is the Fightin' Irish, and once again they have Jesus on their side, so I might have them go all the way.
MR: When you're drunk and you have Jesus, you're golden?
AP: Exactly.
AP: Then you have Florida A&M and Niagara in the play-in game. I got to ride A&M for a while because it's obvious everyone will predict Niagara to fall.
MR: What the heck does A&M mean anyways?
AP: I don't know?those teams are never any good anyways.
MR: I always thought it was some sort of S&M, like for amateurs, but turns out it?s just a name for basketball teams that torture themselves by always being in the tournament and never winning it. Speaking of S&M. How much is it going to hurt Durant to break points per game records and then see his team fall to North Carolina or Georgetown later on.
AP: Oh, it'll hurt, but not as much as it's going to hurt Oden when Ohio State falls to CCSU. I mean they're not even UConn...that brings up the question: Durant or Oden? Will they stay, go, and which would you prefer?
MR: Durant is going to be great, don't get me wrong. He'll be the next T-Mac, Kobe,
whatever, but Oden is just a whole different animal. The basketball world doesn't see a great center everyday. Who was the last real center to come into the NBA? Shaq?
AP: What about Dwight Howard?
MR: Howard is fantastic, but I feel he's just another Okafor, Duncan type. More of a dominant power forward than anything else.
AP: I can see that comparison. What would Howard have to do for you to consider him a true center?
MR: You know that is a tough question because he certainly has the stats. He can hold his own against any big man in the league, but do you think he could hang with the likes of Ewing, Shaq and Robinson in their primes?
AP: I don't know if he sweats enough?
MR: That's the problem with players these days. They don?t work on their perspiration enough.
Questions, Comments, Sweat Stories? Andrew.Perna@RealGM.com