Day 53 of the Lakers Held Hostage by Themselves....

It's getting scary out here. Whenever the Lakers go into a new town, the other team bows down beforehand, praising their name forever, but what they really mean is: We can't be that lucky that these prima donnas are going to lie down for us too, can we?

The media is piling on for all it's worth. Reporters say Shaquille O'Neal looks w-a-y overweight (actually, he looks as if he has knocked off a quick 20 pounds since he got back) and isn't twirling about as he used to (they must not have seen him for a while; we're not talking about Mikhail Baryshnikov here).

Magic Johnson, doing a Turner gig, calls the losses at Minnesota and New Jersey two of the worst in Laker history, which would be true, if he meant very recent Laker history.

The interesting thing about that is what it suggests about the inner workings of the Laker organization, of which Magic is still a co-owner:

It's getting scary in there too.

Actually, as Wall Street insiders know that a Time cover on boom times is actually a contrary indicator, meaning sell and run for your life, a consensus among sportswriters usually means that story is over and a new one has begun.

And it seemed to last week, when the pieces that had been so scattered for so long seemed to fall back into place.

O'Neal not only looked ready physically but emotionally, over his snit at his teammates who were now "my guys" again, and over his embarrassment when the media (yes, us again) blew it up so much bigger than he intended.

He uttered his famous unprintable words about teammates who weren't doing anything after the loss at Golden State in an offhand manner, over his shoulder, outside the dressing room as he walked to the bus. Of course, a week before, he had snapped off a similar compliment after a loss at Utah, where he said, pointedly and not in an offhand manner, he wanted eight teammates who played hard.

The Utah comment elicited raised eyebrows. The Golden State comment came on a slow news day and triggered a feeding frenzy.

Shaq, of course, wasn't talking, so reporters settled for asking his teammates how they would feel about being traded, and how long they thought the organization would give them, which did wonders for their confidence.

This resulted in more losses ... and Shaq holing up even more ... and teammates joking about it ... and the jokes getting in the paper ... and even deeper gloom and still more losses.

Then there was the Kobe Bryant problem.

Worn out and banged up from trying to carry the team before O'Neal came back, he now went into a never-before-seen Avery Johnson Mode in which he'd barely shoot, until his competitive instincts took over at the end, as when he scored 21 of his 27 points in the fourth quarter in their rally against the Dallas Mavericks.

When asked if he was hurt, he said he was fine, he just couldn't attack from the top of the triangle with defenders clogging the lane, although he always had.

What was really going on was Kobe's version of challenging his teammates to make a shot:

Here's the rock, do something with it.

And if they missed, he was going to throw it to them again until they made one.

This wasn't totally off the wall, as Bryant has been at moments in his arch-precocious career, but it was going too far in the other direction. The Lakers need Kobe to score and not only after they trail by double figures in the fourth quarter.

The big guys are supposed to make the game easier for the little guys, and that wasn't happening.

Happily for the Lakers, Bryant was amenable to Phil Jackson's suggestion to open up and took 29 shots at New Jersey on Thursday. Unhappily for them, the timing wasn't great because Kobe had a bad cold, hadn't tried that sort of thing in a while and missed 21.

It came together at Philadelphia the next night where the big guys were great and the little guys fell in line behind them ... right up until the moment that Rick Fox missed that pass going in for the winning layup.

Of course, Robert Horry's pass was behind Fox, coming over his shoulder, Jackson having drawn the unorthodox play up with five seconds left, knowing the defense would jump on Bryant and Horry.

Omens notwithstanding, a loss was a loss and the more they pile up, the more corrosive they are.

Bryant got visibly upset at not getting the ball from Derek Fisher once. O'Neal, who talked before the game, almost stopping the presses, didn't afterward, as is his custom when he's upset, although he would make things easier on himself, and everyone around him if he did Phil's "What, me worry?" act.

At this late date, the Lakers need more than things falling in place, or good effort. From now on, it will be about wins.

Not that this should be a surprise, after their last two harrowing title defenses.

It's only that it never has been quite this bad before.

Jackson's Chicago Bulls posted the best record in the East in five of their six title runs, overcoming incredible distractions -- the furor over Michael Jordan's gambling, over "The Jordan Rules," Jackson's feud with General Manager Jerry Krause, Scottie Pippen calling owner Jerry Reinsdorf "a liar," Dennis Rodman -- because the team was so hungry and so together.

The Lakers have been best in the West once in three title runs and last season didn't even win their division.

The Bulls' organization was dysfunctional, but the team fell in line behind the relentless Jordan.

The Lakers run a nice, family organization, but the team is wacky. O'Neal gets upset and Bryant is always in the process of re-inventing himself. So far we have seen Child Kobe, Estranged From Everyone Kobe, Feuding With Shaq Kobe, Balanced Super-Duper Kobe and, of course, the recent Avery Kobe.

"It's true," Jackson said last week of the difference between the united Bulls and the ever-negotiating Lakers.

"I'd like to embellish on it," he added, laughing, lapsing into moon-speak to keep from reflecting harshly on anyone, "but I think it's kind of a seismograph energy coming from the earth, that's what I attribute it to.

"Astrologically, we don't fit together as a team quite as well as that [Bulls] group did. And the conjunctions of certain planets have kept us apart."

Oh, that's all it is.

By the way, for you letter writers who think Phil has chilled too much and needs to be defrosted, did you notice how many titles the Lakers won in O'Neal's first three seasons, and how many in the next three with Jackson? What do you think that was, a coincidence?

Happily for the Lakers, for three seasons O'Neal and Bryant have gotten where they needed to be in time, and they seemed to be heading there last week too.

On the other hand, they're out of time, so they'd better have their planets together.