Road sweet road?

Roadcourt advantage?

No place like road?

Announcers need a whole new lexicon of cliches this season to call Hornets games. The Hornets' results are inside-out and upside-down. Since when does a team shine on the road and stink at home?

Stepping into Saturday's game at Atlanta, the Hornets were 9-7 on the road and 3-7 at home. Coach Paul Silas contends the home schedule has been tougher than the road schedule so far, but that's a dubious argument: The Hornets have played six teams with .500-or-better records at home and seven with .500-or-better records on the road.

The more logical explanation is obvious: The Charlotte Coliseum is dead when the Hornets play there. Charlotte is second to last in the NBA in average home attendance, at 10,180 paid. That number doesn't convey thousands of no-shows.

Ask point guard Baron Davis why the Hornets play so much better on the road, and he replies, "People in the stands."

If history is any guide, this start is a bad sign for the Hornets' playoff chances. Since the NBA began its current 16-team playoff format in 1983, only three teams have qualified for the postseason with losing home records. In each case, the team finished the home schedule 20-21.

At their current pace, the Hornets would finish the season 12-29 at home. Even the '89-90 Hornets - the team that won 19 overall - won 13 at home.

Now's the time to turn this mess around. The Hornets play seven of their next eight at home and Michael Jordan's return Dec.26 guarantees at least one sellout crowd.

Face it, this is getting ridiculous. Whoever heard of "the dreaded homestand"?

New Orleans has arena advantage

Don't discount New Orleans as the Hornets' new home. It's the one city where George Shinn and Ray Wooldridge could move immediately into a new arena with luxury suites, without sharing that building with an NHL team.

Louisville, Ky., and Norfolk, Va., would each need two years to build the arena the Hornets need. So in the short term, moving to either place would be a financial hardship. A Norfolk insider estimates the Hornets could lose $30million there waiting for a building to be completed.

While New Orleans has the building, it's a shaky market long-term. Per-capita income is low and there aren't many major corporations to rent the suites.

The Big Easy is a primo spot for a Super Bowl. It's a lousy place to move a basketball team.

Around the league

A highly placed league source said last week that the NBA wouldn't charge the Hornets a $100million relocation fee, as has been suggested. The Grizzlies were reportedly charged a $30 million fee for moving from Vancouver to Memphis.

It will be hard for the Miami Heat to rebuild because trades are so problematic. The Heat would like to move Eddie Jones or Brian Grant, but it's hard to find a taker for their maximum contracts. Then again, since Cleveland dealt Shawn Kemp and the Hornets moved Derrick Coleman, anything is possible.

Entering Saturday, Boston's Antoine Walker had taken more three-pointers this season than two teams, yet he's 61st in the NBA with a 35.6 three-point percentage. Can you say "gunner"?

Totaling 18 games over two seasons, Grant Hill has made $1.14 million per appearance in an Orlando Magic uniform. Hill has five seasons left on a seven-year, $93million contract. If that bum ankle doesn't heal, this could be an incredibly expensive mistake for the Magic.

Congratulations to Portland's Scottie Pippen, who recently completed his degree requirements 14 years after leaving Central Arkansas for the NBA.

He proves getting a job isn't the only reason to finish college.

"It's not like I need it, or will ever need it, but it's great to have," Pippen said. "It shows that I completed my education, and that's what I went to school for."

Writers in other NBA cities provided some of this material.