Among the scores of ridiculous trade rumors that were floated this past week, one makes Olympic figure skating judging seem logical.
 
Karl Malone to New Jersey.
 
Seriously.
 
A Malone-to-the-Nets story actually surfaced as Thursday's deadline approached. Supposedly, the Jazz would have received ex-University of Utah star Keith Van Horn and other players whose salaries would make the deal comply with league rules.
 
Malone earns $17.5 million this season. Van Horn makes $10.9 million. So the Nets would have had to include one or more other players whose salaries total about $8.5 million. Jason Kidd ($8.4 million) or Kerry Kittles ($8.1 million) would have done it. So would a deal including Van Horn and most of the Nets' extremely short bench: Aaron Williams ($2.5 million), Lucious Harris ($2.4 million), Richard Jefferson ($1.4 million) and Jason Collins ($1.1 million).
 
Of course, there were problems with such a deal.
 
Most significantly, Malone has a no-trade clause in his contract, and agreeing to a deal with New Jersey would have meant working for GM Rod Thorn and coach Byron Scott. One of his new teammates would have been Kenyon Martin.
 
For years, Thorn was the NBA's chief disciplinarian and handed down several fines and/or suspensions that Malone considered unfair and personally motivated.
 
Strike one.
 
Early this season, Scott got into a verbal war with Malone after the Nets beat the Jazz in Salt Lake City. Scott questioned Malone's heart and ability to produce at the critical moments. Malone suggested Scott road the "coattails" of others throughout his career and into his job as an NBA coach.
 
Strike two.
 
Just before Christmas on the Jazz-Nets rematch, Martin caught Malone from behind and clotheslined him during the final seconds of a Utah victory at the Meadowlands. Martin was fined and suspended for the takedown, which was as dirty a play as you will ever see.
 
Strike three.