1. L.A. Lakers -- Shaq vs. Phil is more exciting than Lakers vs. NBA. (1)
2. Sacramento -- Kings could be tough as King Kong when Webber returns. (6)
3. San Antonio -- Spurs are no donut when Duncan is in the middle. (5)
4. Minnesota -- Wolves' bandwagon unloaded some passengers after loss to Cavs. (3)
5. Milwaukee -- They were like Bucks in headlights in lopsided loss to Wolves. (2)
6. New Jersey -- What's going on? Is Dr. J back with the Nets? (9)
7. Dallas -- Mavs rhymes with Cavs, but there were no other similarities. (4)
8. Detroit -- Hiring Rick Carlisle rather than a retread is paying off. (NR)
9. Boston -- Joe Johnson continues to make Cavs look foolish. (NR)
10. Toronto -- Raptors' big men are having a block party. (7)

BOTTOM FIVE
1. Chicago -- High schoolers Chandler and Curry may go on IR due to acne.
2. Memphis -- Maybe they should wear blue suede shoes.
3. Cleveland -- At least Jumaine Jones is a better JJ than Jim Jackson.
4. Atlanta -- Hawks can do like Rams and move back to St. Louis.
5. Washington -- A 50-loss team that will be on TV more than most 50-win teams.