(Family-therapy session, Feb. 28, 2 p.m.
     Subjects: Jerry Sloan and Greg Ostertag
     Rationale for therapy: Escalating patterns of miscommunication, inability to relate, physical abuse)
     
Transcript:
     
Dr. Mojo: Who'd like to start?
     
Greg: I would, Doc. By the way, what's that on your shirt? (Subject points at shirt, doctor looks down, subject runs finger up doctor's face. Note: Subject may have unresolved childhood issues.)
     
Jerry: Grow up.
     
Greg: Quit pickin' on me. He's always pickin' on me, Doc. The whole team stinks in Memphis, I'm the one he hollers at. Nobody shows up in Sacramento, I get blamed.
     
Dr. Mojo: Is this true, Jerry?
     
Jerry: He just gets me so sideways I can't even think straight. He's 7-somethin' and got those long arms and could be the best shot-blocker in the #$%! league, and then he goes out there and you can't even tell he's on the #$%!-#$%! court.
     
Dr. Mojo: You haven't answered the question, Jerry. What Greg seems to be asking is . . .
     
Jerry: You understood him? 'Cause that puts you one up on me. Or anybody above the age of about 12.
     
Greg: See, Doc? He's always kickin' my butt. We can't even talk without . . .
     
Jerry: Kickin' your butt? You haven't seen kickin' your butt, yet. I'll show you kickin' your butt . . .