THE REAL WORLD is full of revisionist history. In this sporting corner, it's called an alibi.

So Brazil really didn't lose the '98 World Cup to France ? Ronaldo was intimidated/poisoned/seduced by aliens (or shoe company reps, same difference). Ray Lewis is just misunderstood. The Raptors? They barely beat the Horri-Bulls last night, but they're learning, be patient, give them time.

And oh yes, that brings us to Bull-sitter Charles Oakley. Oak might be yesterday's news in these parts, but the way he talks, he'd still be a Raptor today if only Glen Grunwald had shown some backbone last spring. While we're on the subject, don't those Raptors miss his toughness and vocalizations? And that foul-out last night in just 12 minutes, the last one coming with a full-value, flagrant-foul smackdown of Vince Carter that was straight out of the Booker T handbook? Just another case of Oak igniting Air Canada Carter.

"Hey, it got me going," said Carter, who apparently didn't do anything without Oakley's urging, calling this latest a case of "tough love," lump on the head and all.

"I knew I was coming out anyway," snorted Oakley, nodding in the direction of his latest b?te noire, Chicago coach Tim Floyd. "It wasn't much. They didn't have to bring the emergency squad out or anything. Just basketball."