you're a Celtics fan, it might be wise to pray for Paul Pierce's tummy. When last seen yesterday, Pierce was heading home to cook a full Thanksgiving meal.

In the name of the father, the son and Pepto Bismol . . .

``No, man, I can cook. Seriously,'' Pierce said. ``I've got three cookbooks. I have to know how to cook. I can't go out and eat every night.

``Shoot, where was I supposed to eat when I was at Kansas? I had to learn how to cook. I'd call mom and be like, `What's the recipe for this?' Then I'd practice it a couple of times until I'd get it right.''