1. L.A. Lakers: We can handle the truth.
2. San Antonio: Smith swishing three-pointers like layups.
3. Sacramento: Ex-teammates love J-Will, but Memphis loss?
4. Milwaukee: Karl the angriest, winningest coach in NBA.
5. Minnesota: We'll be more impressed in May.
6. Dallas: Hardaway will never make another three.
7. New Jersey: Crowds worse than those of ABA Nets.
8. Toronto: With half-man, starting to play amazing.
9. Detroit: NBDL teams inquire about Atkins.
10. Phoenix: There's a new Big Three in NBA.
11. Portland: Trader Bob must be getting itchy.
12. Indiana: Travis not his Best on bench.
13. Philadelphia: It's official: Geiger a goner.
14. Boston: Paul Pierce cutting up defenders.
15. Charlotte: More meetings than Congress spell trouble.
16. New York: Van Gundy still looks like Dead Coach Walking.
17. Seattle: Trainer can finally relax a little.
18. Orlando: Hill making Magic think Penny turned up again.
19. Houston: Moochie Norris playing like he's wide awake.
20. L.A. Clippers: Still Miles away from playoffs.
21. Denver: Losses mounting despite Nick excelling.
22. Golden State: Hughes making his point for Warriors.
23. Utah: So we were five years late calling Jazz old.
24. Atlanta: Abdur-Rahim still producing during Ramadan.
25. Cleveland: Cavs awaiting return of Ilgauskas.
26. Washington: Equivalent to watching car accident.
27. Miami: Vladimir Stepania Era begins in Miami.
28. Chicago: Best high-school team in the NBA.
29. Memphis: Even Nick Anderson getting minutes.