1. L.A. Lakers: We can handle the truth.

2. San Antonio: Smith swishing three-pointers like layups.

3. Sacramento: Ex-teammates love J-Will, but Memphis loss?

4. Milwaukee: Karl the angriest, winningest coach in NBA.

5. Minnesota: We'll be more impressed in May.

6. Dallas: Hardaway will never make another three.

7. New Jersey: Crowds worse than those of ABA Nets.

8. Toronto: With half-man, starting to play amazing.

9. Detroit: NBDL teams inquire about Atkins.

10. Phoenix: There's a new Big Three in NBA.

11. Portland: Trader Bob must be getting itchy.

12. Indiana: Travis not his Best on bench.

13. Philadelphia: It's official: Geiger a goner.

14. Boston: Paul Pierce cutting up defenders.

15. Charlotte: More meetings than Congress spell trouble.

16. New York: Van Gundy still looks like Dead Coach Walking.

17. Seattle: Trainer can finally relax a little.

18. Orlando: Hill making Magic think Penny turned up again.

19. Houston: Moochie Norris playing like he's wide awake.

20. L.A. Clippers: Still Miles away from playoffs.

21. Denver: Losses mounting despite Nick excelling.

22. Golden State: Hughes making his point for Warriors.

23. Utah: So we were five years late calling Jazz old.

24. Atlanta: Abdur-Rahim still producing during Ramadan.

25. Cleveland: Cavs awaiting return of Ilgauskas.

26. Washington: Equivalent to watching car accident.

27. Miami: Vladimir Stepania Era begins in Miami.

28. Chicago: Best high-school team in the NBA.

29. Memphis: Even Nick Anderson getting minutes.