Woe is the NBA. Woe is the state of American basketball.

Oh, my. How will they survive? How will we get through this? Should we all hyperventilate at once or simply run around the streets screaming with our hands over our heads? According to what I've read and heard, there's not much left of the NBA or American basketball now that Kobe Bryant has been charged with the sexual assault of a 19-year-old woman at a resort hotel in Colorado.

Let's see, according to reports, Bryant's arrest is going to cause "massive damage" to the NBA. The ripple effect of his arrest could be "devastating." And it could show the lack of fundamentals (morals?) by American basketball players.

Wait a minute. ... I have to breathe into this paper bag to catch my breath.