Dick Heller of the Washington Times asks whether Michael Jordan will return or not. ?It isn't fair to anybody to keep people guessing, least of all your friend Doug Collins,? he writes. ?There is no way Collins can get the Wizards properly structured and prepared without knowing Michael Jordan's intentions. If you choose to believe that Michael is meditating in a dark room about whether his aching knees can survive another season, that's your privilege. I think he's simply biding his time to make the most dramatic entrance possible.?

Heller adds that there is nothing Collins can do or say to Michael about the situation. Collins may be Jordan?s coach, but Jordan hired Collins. And once Jordan re-re-re-retires, he will go back to being Collins? boss.

When Joe DiMaggio quit baseball in 1951 at the age of 37, the writers alertly asked him why. "Because I couldn't be Joe DiMaggio anymore," replied the Yankee Clipper, trading modesty for candor.

Think about that, Mike ? and for heaven's sakes make up your mind.