There are times still when the beauty of Utah astounds Antoine Carr.

A self-described "country boy," he often finds himself at the edge of a cool lake -- its calm disturbed only by Carr's fishing line -- resting in the midst of a postcard setting. There are tall trees, much taller mountains and high clouds drifting through the bluest of skies.

Yet surrounded by such glorious, bright colors, Carr's thoughts often turn black.